Muslims can't decide between bestiality and necrophilia

Like so many American women, I braved the lines and crowds of teenyboppers to be among the first to view “Breaking Dawn”, the newest release in the Twilight saga. (I may no longer be a teenybopper myself, but a woman can still dream). I have been attempting to track Donald’s subjects, but being that I am merely a photographer and not a retired FBI agent,  I am not as talented in the art of tracking.

To my surprise, however, I came across these two Mohammedan females among the throngs of crazed fans. (I apologize for the quality of this photo, which was captured on my cell phone.)  I will admit, I was a bit surprised to see these females out after dark, let alone without any male escorts. Perhaps they snuck away from their oppressive husbands for some all-American fun? While waiting for the movie to begin, they were even joking and laughing with each other, which seemed odd considering the horrible way of life that they must endure. I suppose they were just happy to be outside and away from the harsh treatment of their husbands.  I am still confused as to why they were wearing burkas considering there were no men around forcing them to do so.

When the movie began, I think I even heard squeals of delight coming from these ladies when Jacob ripped off his shirt. I just feel sorry that Mohammedan females are so sexually repressed that they have to sneak out to the movies to delight in seeing beautiful shirtless men. If only they could liberate themselves and show off their bodies like the rest of us, then maybe they could have their own Edward and Jacob someday!

Reported 11/29/2011 -  Lexi Cunningham  

Muslims listen to rap music?

Again we come back to the idea that the Neo Mohammedans are changing the system.  I came about these two at the Tempe Market Place parading around a flyer to see a famous rapper live.  What was most surprising was how open and talkative they were about the situation.

"Man he is the dopest rapper out there" said the one on the right, who I have tagged as Subject ID # 0786.  "He is like a lyrical genius, and I love to listen to him bust those rhymes" he continued.  The subject had no reservation or fear at all speaking about his love for music, perhaps due to there being no other Mohammedans around accept for the one in the photo.  Oddly enough, when I asked them if I could take a photo, they did not decline, but rather smiled and embraced it, without even asking me what I would use it for, how foolish these two are.  Perhaps I will not keep the subject in consideration for future records, as he seems to be to "wet behind the ears" to what is really the goal of the Mohammedans, the destruction of America.

Subject Id # 0786 had little to no reservation at all about discussing his musical tastes and adventures, as he fancied himself to be something of an audiophile.   This stood in complete contradiction to everything I have ever heard about Mohammedans.  They are supposed to hate music, and happiness, and things that make you enjoy life, next to protestants, they are the most life hating people I have ever encountered, which is what is making this Neo Mohammedan movement so interesting to me. 

The other subject in the photo did not say much, as he was more guarded and reserved, so I have not bothered to tag him for record purposes.  I am hoping that between here, the Tempe Market Place, and the Hookah cafe that I have recently been to, I will continue to learn more about this Neo Mohammedan movement, as it seems to be expanding quite quickly, and more disturbing, they are becoming more like us.  Talking to women, allowing women to leave the home, men in the kitchen, listening to music, wow these Neo Mohammedans!  

Reported 11/26/2011 -  Donald Rascal  

Muslims like to burn teddy bears?

I was strolling along my local Wal-Mart, where all good and decent Americans go to shop, when I came upon another startling situation.  I saw that there was a pack of Mohammedans buying a wealth of teddy bears, but not just any teddy bears, these were "support our troops" teddy bears.  I found it rather odd that they were buying something that would support our troops, as we all know, the Mohammedans want nothing more than to kill all our troops.  It appeared that they were also buying miles of yellow nylon rope, so I decided it would most certainly be a good idea to survey these individuals.  I was not able to install a tracking on any of them, as I did not want to get too close, but I was able to overhear the plan they had devised. 

It was to be that these support our troops bears were to be used as a form of festivity lighting, as in they were all going to be hung and set aflame.  The Mohammedans had decided that it would be a great investment in time to take all these from the shelves and use them for their own sick and savage reasons.  I wondered why it was that they would do something so stupid, surely the dirtiest of dirt farmers would understand that buying these would still be supporting our troops.  About the time I came to this conclusion I overheard what they were planning.

"I will go to the register and make a scene, you go out to the back and wheel these out to the car" said one of the savages.  The other two grunted, and proceeded to the back of the store, where I can only assume the car was waiting for what would be a theft of these teddy bears.  The leader of the pack went to the front of the store, and began to speak in broken English to the worker at the register.

"Where can I find Mr. Coke" he said to her.

"Mr. Coke" she replied with a question in her voice.

"MR. COKE" he said with a little more irritation in his tone.

"Oh dear lord, I think you might be confused, are you asking for Coca Cola or Mr. Pibb" the lady responded with a sweet sound to her smile.

"Listen, I am not some dirt farmer you can just treat as a second class citizen" replied the leader in a hostile voice, alarming the cashier.  "I was born in this country and love my US of A.  You cannot talk down to me like I am a American hating dirt farmer, I demand to speak to your supervisor, and demand that you give me a Mr. Coke".

The cashier was startled at this point, and the leader had made enough noise as to draw all attention to the front of the store, far away from the rest of the pack who were busy making it out the door with the teddy bears.

"Is there a problem here" said the Assistant Manager.

"This Islamophobe here has called me a dirt farmer and treated me like a terrorist because of the color of my skin.  I am a Christian, I celebrate Christmas, I buy many presents for my family, I watch fox and I am a good American, she cannot treat me this way" exclaimed the leader. 

"Well I am dearly sorry sir, what can we do to right the situation for you" said the Assistant Manager, as shocked as the cashier at his temper and rage.

"I do not know, I will call the ACLU, I know people who will put your racist organization underground, you cannot treat me this way, I am not a dirt farmer, I am an American, I am a Christian, I love my god Christ, I will tell the news of what you have done today" the leader continued to exclaim.

"Jenny quickly go get this man what he asked for" the Assistant Manager said to the cashier.

"He asked for Mr. Coke" she replied to the Assistant Manager.

"I did not do no such thing.  There is no Mr. Coke, you are just a racist and think I am a dirt farmer like you said" the leader yelled.  At this point everyone had moved to the front of the store and the two Mohammedans who had gone to the back had taken off already.

"There is nothing you can do, I want this racist fired, I am calling ACLU, you will face great trouble for treating me this way" the leader said as he made his way to the front door.

About that moment Jenny began to cry, and the Assistant Manager yelled at her while at the same time chasing after the leader.  How very smart of the Mohammedans to use Islamophobia against us.  They are getting smarter, more organized.  Maybe I am wrong about this Neo Mohammedan movement, or maybe I am dead on.  One thing is for certain, many bears will be lost in this War tonight, but it is a small price to pay if we can identify a few more of these radical Islamics.

Reported 11/22/2011 -  Donald Rascal 

Muslims and the retarded

While walking through Wal-Mart the other day, I stumbled on this less than par subject, for one reason or another I have assigned him a number, Subject ID # 0786.  I say less than par because he is obviously suffering from some type of a mental disability of sorts.  When I found him, he was struggling to get into this costume, apparently of Scooby. His biggest issue was getting the bottom section over his diaper.  I began to wonder to myself where his guardians were at, certainly no right minded person would leave a retard like this out in the open to harm the public.  Then I realized we are not talking about right minded people, we are talking about Mohammedans.  I asked this subject a few questions, such as where I might find his caregivers, or what he was doing here, to which he responded, "I is a dog, Scooby dooby doo".  I do not think that I will be following this subject for any further research, possibly for the observation of how Mohammedans treat the handicapped, but other than that, any information he may contribute would serve to destroy the credibility of my findings in this Neo Mohammedan movement.  As I was getting ready to notify a store attendant, his older brother came up, not paying much attention to me, but rather more concerned as to what his brother was doing. 

I came to understand that they were there to gather supplies for Thanksgiving, perhaps to take the much needed supplies from us Americans... could it be a Neo Mohammedan plot to buy out all the Thanksgiving supplies before we have gotten around to shopping?  I will touch on this in just a moment as to why I think this may have been the case.  Are they planning some event on this blessed Turkey Day?  I decided that it would be of good value at this point to at least get a visual record of Subject ID # 0786 for future occurrences.  As I turned to take his photo it was then I was certain that he was in fact a retard.  He was standing there saluting his reflection in the mirror, now thinking that he was a GI JOE. 

As they began to circle the store, the Mohammedans began to amass all the napkins, paper plates, plastic cutlery, and other much needed supplies for Turkey Day.  Any rational person may have concluded that they were just preparing for another picnic, but I am more intellectual and scholarly in the field of these Neo Mohammadans, and I can only conclude that they are attempting to take this much needed holiday from us.  Thanksgiving is a day we can all unite and celebrate that we have successfully killed 2.5 million of them Mohammedans, all the while only losing 6,000 of our own.  God is great, they got that right, too bad it is the wrong God!

Reported 11/19/2011 -  Donald Rascal  

Muslims like to consume Apple products

I was walking about the old stomping grounds the other day when I came across this Mohammedan female.  She was caring a box and walking around the shopping plaza alone.  At first I figured she may have strayed from her owner, but after a few moments of observation I came to the conclusion that she was in fact there alone.  I began to follow her, taking inventory of her dress, stature, and attitude.  She started to walk more quickly, and continued to do so until we were out of the shopping center altogether.  I stopped her, yelling to her, "Ass lam likum" or whatever it is that they say, and she turned to look at me with a look of confusion.  She did not approach me, but rather said to me "walikum salaam" in such a low voice I could barely hear her, while she at the same time refused to make eye contact with me, but rather watched me with her peripheral vision.  I began to close in on her, but each step I took towards her she would take another from me.  It appears that this was not a Neo Mohammedan, but rather an all natural Islamic, born and raised.  I understood that I was not going to get any closer, so I began to raise my voice and ask her questions real slowly.

"WHERE IS YOUR OWNER"

She looked at me with this confused look.

"WHERE IS THE MAN WHO BOUGHT YOU", while I made the symbol of money in my hand.

Again she looked at me confused.

"ARE YOU LOST, ARE YOU ALONE"

It was then that she opened her bag and showed me what she had left the house for, her new iPhone.  I thought to myself, "Well I'll be damned".  The Mohammedans like Apple, hell so do I, I use a Macbook when I go to Starbucks to write these reports.  Thanks to all the yuppie kids who have the same devices I can just easily blend in to the crowd.

 "VERY GOOD, I HAVE ONE TOO", I said as I took my phone from my pocket.   

This must have startled her as she began to run off again, perhaps she thought that I was going to take something else out of my pocket.  Twice in two days I have encountered the Mohammedans, and yet no progress has been made with my initial three subjects, nor new subjects acquired.  I am going to have to start showing some results soon, or I will never see my Canon, nor will I be working on this project much longer.

I called Lexi to see if she was in the area, and sure enough she as about a mile away, so I asked that she survey the area for this natural Mohammedan, with any luck, she will pinpoint the location and we can begin surveillance.

Reported 11/16/2011 -  Donald Rascal