Muslims like to consume Apple products

I was walking about the old stomping grounds the other day when I came across this Mohammedan female.  She was caring a box and walking around the shopping plaza alone.  At first I figured she may have strayed from her owner, but after a few moments of observation I came to the conclusion that she was in fact there alone.  I began to follow her, taking inventory of her dress, stature, and attitude.  She started to walk more quickly, and continued to do so until we were out of the shopping center altogether.  I stopped her, yelling to her, "Ass lam likum" or whatever it is that they say, and she turned to look at me with a look of confusion.  She did not approach me, but rather said to me "walikum salaam" in such a low voice I could barely hear her, while she at the same time refused to make eye contact with me, but rather watched me with her peripheral vision.  I began to close in on her, but each step I took towards her she would take another from me.  It appears that this was not a Neo Mohammedan, but rather an all natural Islamic, born and raised.  I understood that I was not going to get any closer, so I began to raise my voice and ask her questions real slowly.

"WHERE IS YOUR OWNER"

She looked at me with this confused look.

"WHERE IS THE MAN WHO BOUGHT YOU", while I made the symbol of money in my hand.

Again she looked at me confused.

"ARE YOU LOST, ARE YOU ALONE"

It was then that she opened her bag and showed me what she had left the house for, her new iPhone.  I thought to myself, "Well I'll be damned".  The Mohammedans like Apple, hell so do I, I use a Macbook when I go to Starbucks to write these reports.  Thanks to all the yuppie kids who have the same devices I can just easily blend in to the crowd.

 "VERY GOOD, I HAVE ONE TOO", I said as I took my phone from my pocket.   

This must have startled her as she began to run off again, perhaps she thought that I was going to take something else out of my pocket.  Twice in two days I have encountered the Mohammedans, and yet no progress has been made with my initial three subjects, nor new subjects acquired.  I am going to have to start showing some results soon, or I will never see my Canon, nor will I be working on this project much longer.

I called Lexi to see if she was in the area, and sure enough she as about a mile away, so I asked that she survey the area for this natural Mohammedan, with any luck, she will pinpoint the location and we can begin surveillance.

Reported 11/16/2011 -  Donald Rascal