What do Muslims do on their birthday?

So I was able to receive a forward paycheck from the bureau today, and I used it to purchase a Canon S5 IS 8.0 Megapixel camera with a 12x zoom, allowing me to look into the windows and investigate the Muslims in their nests.  I had decided that it would be a valuable investment of my time to follow Subject ID # 2241 to his residence and perhaps gain more insight into the suspected movement of Neo Mohammedanism.  It appears that it was also ID # 2241's birthday.  This was quite an exciting finding both for academic reasons as well as sociological gatherings.

Upon adjusting the auto stabilization function of my new Canon camera, I was able to view clearly into the kitchen of this particular Muslim nest.  I deducted that it was the subject's birthday due to the candles on the cake that was being presented to him by none other than his probable wife, I say probable as she was covered from head to toe.  They sang some sort of a song to him, rather chanted something in a low voice while bowing their heads, perhaps it was a prayer to Mohammed?  Then Subject ID # 2241 proceeded to blow out the candles and eat his cake.  What I found very interesting was that he served his wife first, which stood in complete contradiction to all I have ever known about Mohammedans, but also reinforcing my idea that perhaps the subject was part of a Neo Mohammedanism.

What was rather startling to me was the condition of this particular subject's nest.  There were dishes stacked in the sink and on the counters, as if he had been slacking on ensuring his wife fulfilled her duties as woman.  Even more startling was the amount of trash that was just laying about.  There was a sign pointing to a pile of it, the sign reading "Recycle", however upon further zoom I was able to realize that not only was there paper in the pile, but also cardboard, orange juice containers, plastics, cans, and even glass bottles.  Everyone knows in America that recycling is all a ruse, so I am not sure who it was the subject was attempting to fool.  After all, anyone who has watched the always trustworthy and scholarly Penn and Teller's Bullshit knows that recycling is a waste of money and time.

If this was the location to spearhead a new movement in Mohammedanism, then surely they are going to fail, as this truly reflected that of a nest made by an animal.  I can somewhat recall my travels to the Middle East, and the conditions in those rumbled homes were similar to the inside of this home, despite it being located in a rich part of Scottsdale.  He obviously had some secure source of funding, I assume this was accumulated by fueling Al Qaeda with intelligence of the American way of life... or perhaps something worse.  It was in that very moment that I came to the logical conclusion, Al Qaeda must be enticing individuals in America to baptize themselves as Mohammedans with money.

I may have been seen however as I was attempting to leave, having not familiarized myself with this new Canon camera, I accidentally caught a reflection of the Sun into the subject's eyes, at which point we had a momentary contact, visually speaking.  It was almost as if he could see into my soul, and all that I could see in his was blackness, empty, evil.  I had to quickly pack up my rig and leave at this point.  I will attempt to come back later in the evening when the light is not present and see what new intelligence I can gather.